In order to understand what has taken place in the lives of many men and women, it is important to understand the similarities between sports games and sexual games played in relationships. When Kobe Bryant scores a game-winning shot; when Barry Bonds effortlessly knocks a ball out of the park, or when Tiger Woods hits a hole in one we instinctively applaud their efforts. They are often praised for all of their accomplishments. Many athletes often become heroes. Sports and games have become American pastimes that have helped shape the cultural identity of this nation. They are activities that are fun, yet their concept that is very simple.
A game is a competitive activity in which two or more rivals contend with one another for a level of superiority or victory. It is often an organized program or contest comprised of strategies, a point system to properly determine a winner, and a host of rules to govern the activity of its participants in order to ensure honorable play. At the end of each game a winner is declared. So, one triumphs at the expense of another’s loss. Seems pretty fair, right? Sure it does. However, once this game concept is brought into the confines of a relationship, all hell is bound to break lose.
Relationships were designed to function in a cooperative, not a competitive arena. It is an institution where two people are committed to working together to produce results that are best for all parties involved. It is a process of thoroughly understanding issues and resolving them in a mutually beneficial way. Such interaction seeks to produce a win/win outcome. However, the sexual games played by both men and women inevitably create a lose/lose situation. These games are often destructive to both present and future relationships. This destructiveness is why players cannot properly function in relationships. ‘Playas’ normally wind up in connections. Maulana Karenga, professor and author, coined the term ‘Connection.’ There are flesh connections, cash connections and dependency connections. A connection represents an individual who is tied to another for very specific reasons. I’m sure that we can all conjure up an incalculable number of connections that exist. However, the objective of this report is to delve into the intricacies of the flesh/cash connection.
In order for the game to begin, the player must identify the goal. The individual is often not the prize. However, it is acquiring what that individual has access to that becomes the reward. For instance, male players see women as objects that perform a specific function: sex. Male players want women for their bodies and the power they feel from the thrill of the conquest. They are likely to seek women who they find beautiful and sexy. Women ‘playas’, on the other hand, see men as a way of obtaining a particular lifestyle they want. Many are status seekers, freeloaders, or women looking for an easy ride (both financially and sexually). Note: Many women crave sex just as much as men do, and are relentless in their pursuit. They seek men who have what they want and then drain them of their resources. These women will bounce from man to man until they find one who falls for their scheme.
So, while men crave vagina, women crave penis and possessions. In this warped scenario the bedroom becomes the marketplace and the bed becomes the bartering table from which all transactions are made. Occasionally, when the product is as good as the presentation, everyone’s happy. However, these types of arrangements often turn sour, leaving the other with a raw deal. Why? This game is played under false pretenses. Therefore, satisfaction is never guaranteed. You play at your own risk.
It’s a game of winner takes all. Either you play or get played. The rules of engagement are simple. There are no rules. No guidelines. No sideline referees monitoring fair play. No flagrant fouls, illegal defense plays or personal penalties. There is a ‘whatever it takes’ mentality. In this game, every player plays for keeps and only the strongest survive. The player’s creed is simple: ‘Nobody gets attached, nobody gets hurt’ and ‘all is fair in lust and war.’ Such a philosophy requires an emotional numbness that detaches the player from all feelings. Why? Because of the old adage: Whoever is the most emotionally committed to the relationship has the least power in it.
Now that we have successfully covered the game concept, let’s take a closer look at its players and the games they play. The male player will succeed until women begin to see through his game. The following is a condensed list of games all male players have mastered.
1) If you dance to the music, you got to pay the piper
3) I’m mad (angry)
4) I just wanna or let me just…
5) Putting her to the test
It has been said that the reason men play games is to hide the insecurities and vulnerabilities they feel. In fact, what men are really looking for is that special woman, who will love him unconditionally. However, the way these men are conditioned, they don’t know how to go about achieving it, and once they get it, how to keep it. Unfortunately, male player isn’t the only one caught up in this sordid lust affair. There is a female counterpart that is just as ruthless. Let’s take a closer look.
The female player will succeed until men begin to see through her game. The following is a condensed list of games female players have mastered.
1) I won’t…If you don’t or You can’t…If you don’t
2) I’m mad (angry) or I’ll punish you
3) Looking for Mr. Right
4) What kind of girl do you think I am?
Because of the double standards that exist in our society, many women have become masters of deception. While men are applauded by society for their sexual explorations, women are often shunned. Therefore, many women chose not to be honest about their sexual history. So, once she engages in certain sexual activities, to deceive him, she will often respond with the one liner, “I’ve never done this before.” This becomes problematic because eventually all the facades and false faces must come down. The male will eventually see her for who she really is and as a result, the game can possibly backfire and ultimately destroy the relationship.
5) You can have me if you catch me; I love you
We’ve briefly covered the games played by both men and women. If you want to find out more about the damaging effects of these games purchase Black Thighs, Black Guys & Bedroom Lies today.
We offer this article on a nonexlusive basis. You may repring or repost this material as long as Hasani Pettiford's name and contact information is included.
For customer support call: 1-888-237-6101
© Copyright 2007 Hasani Pettiford Enterprises. All rights reserved.
Your Privacy is Guaranteed. We will never give, lease or sell your personal information. Period!
Hasani Pettiford Enterprises